If I could put ‘worrying’ down on my CV as a skill, I would. I’ve got it down to a fine art and I HATE it. I think it’s my biggest flaw because you can’t do anything about it and it’s a complete waste of time. I worry myself silly about the most unnecessary things such as my future, my uni work, my reading list, my parents, my bank balance, my friends, my boyfriend, my career path, the world, poverty, the economy – everything. I worry about things I cannot change or influence. I worry about things that are totally out of my control and it’s a horrible feeling that settles somewhere in my chest and builds and builds. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have a panic attack because even having slight pangs of panic is bad enough.
Whenever I speak to my Mum about this, she always tells me that she never worried at my age and she feels sorry for the amount of pressure young people are under these days. I’m not trying to say ‘poor me’ – just repeating what she often says. She had a great time aged 20 – she was working at a publishing house in London and was having the life of riley in the 80s before ‘recession’ and ‘unemployment’ and all the other doom and gloom we hear about day after day in the press hit. She says she never worried about her life and the future and knew things would be okay.
I try not to worry – I try and combat feelings of worry by writing lists and ticking off daily tasks as I go and that helps somewhat. However, trying to stop these emotions altogether is near impossible and I’m always open to new tips/advice!