I’ve written a post in the past about my irrational tendency to worry about everything and anything here. However, more recently I’ve been trying to find ways of not worrying by keeping busy and also trying not to let the little things get me down. I was out with friends the other evening and had a kind of epiphany while on the dance floor. Call it too many vodka and cokes, but I had this weird feeling that things were going to be okay. I am always worrying about my future, my career – whether I will get to do a job I love writing for a living and earning enough to live comfortably (I’m not striving for pots and pots of cash, not at all – well not anytime soon anyway!) but in this weird moment I had this voice telling me that things were going to be okay. I had this feeling that I would do a job I loved – yes it may take time and lots of hard graft, rejection, obstacles, but I would get there. I am quite a determined person so I feel like somehow, I will make it happen.
It’s not always easy to feel like this, and believe me there are days/weeks when I feel completely lost and wonder why I’m even at university. However, feeling a little bit confident and less anxious about my life the other evening, was a nice change to the stupid worrying I put myself through. I was chatting to a friend recently about the problem with our society. It’s a weird paradox: the more we seem to have, the more we worry. A lot of us in this country have all the latest gadgets, clothes and so on, and yet, more than ever, we worry, we feel lonely, we feel like we’re not good enough. It’s absurd, yet so common. Maybe less really is more. So, for now, I’m feeling okay. My new term at university has started off okay, and I’m trying not to panic about the upcoming essays which I’m sure I will struggle with. Sometimes, it’s about stepping back, counting your blessings, realising your worth, and calming down a little. Because, more often than not, things work out in the end and stress is often unnecessary and damaging.