Ask: Why Do Girls ♥ The Bad Guys?

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Since coming to university I have realised that there is something very alluring about the bad guy to us crazy girls – something that no matter how absurd and how much it hurts us, we are still attracted to like magnets. Maybe it’s because at times university can be boring, and we want to spice things up, or maybe we are just sadistic and like to hurt ourselves. Who knows you ask? Well, with the help of some friends and my own thoughts, I have compiled a list as to why us ‘good girls’ love the ‘bad boys’:

♥ My housemate Saskia says it is because she loves drama. For some reason, at this point in her life, she doesn’t want smooth sailing, easy-peasy, get-on-with-it romance. She wants arguments, pissiness and all the better if you can throw in the overuse of ‘whatsapp’ or ‘bbm’ whereby you can see everything your boyfriend has ‘read’ and then proceed to lose the plot when he doesn’t reply sharpish

♥ You want something to whine on about for hours and hours. University work isn’t the most stimulating topic of conversation at times – I mean, no-one wants to hear me bang on about Auster’s use of postmodernism in his novel The New York Trilogy for too long – so what better waste use of time than gossiping on for hours and hours and hours about this text or that text, what his look meant when he eye-d you over the condiment stand in Tesco or why he didn’t say ‘hi’ in Vodka Revs the other evening

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♥ You constantly kid yourself that you can change him and he’s the one. Despite every fibre of our beings shouting get a grip, woman! we somehow tell ourselves that our life is that of a Hollywood movie. No, we don’t live in York, we live on the streets of fictional Manhattan where arseholes magically turn into the sweetest guys on the planet and change their mean ways because of our fantastic personality and looks that are on par with Mila Kunis (yeah, right.)

♥ Boredom. Slightly like the point about wanting something to talk about, dating a bad boy is something that is potentially going to keep you on your toes if he is rude/uncommunicative/flakey/a player. It adds a bit of spice to your life to be texting someone interesting and new, and the fact that they have a reputation makes things exciting in the beginning. The only problem with that, is that when you realise they really don’t care/want to commit, that excitement quickly turns stale

♥ A few of my friends said they wouldn’t seriously go out with a bad boy, but dated one because they had just come out of a long-term relationship and didn’t want anything serious. I think that says it all really – didn’t want anything serious so went for the bad boy. They could deal with not seeing someone 24/7 and being ‘casual’ and that is why dating a bad boy for a little while was good for them. But as mentioned, those flings didn’t last long and when single life was getting old, the bad boy thing got old too

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♥ A boost for your ego. Rather bighead-ed-ly, often the bad boy is exactly that because he is blessed with movie star good looks or is extremely popular and of course, undeniably, this is a great bolster for our own egos

♥ We don’t have any real problems in our lives, so like to make things really rather shitty for ourselves so we can wallow in unnecessary self-pity. Harsh, but true. Like the great phrase ‘first-world problem’, so much of going after a bad boy is about getting ourselves hurt over and over again and never learning. We wouldn’t get so upset and let-down if we faced up to the fact that this bad boy is what he is and is never going to change, but frankly a lot of us like the feeling of being hurt (don’t ask me why) and so don’t wake up and smell the roses but instead just constantly ask why he isn’t replying to texts and, ‘do you think he’s seeing other people?’ Probably, yes.

♥ Loneliness. Out of all the reasons, my friends said that this was the sole reason for making the silly decision to go after a bad boy. loneliness = bad decisions, especially when there is no-one else in the picture and we’re feeling a bit low for some reason. It’s flattering to have someone text you, and it’s nice to feel wanted – that’s ultimately what everybody wants and unfortunately sometimes it doesn’t matter if that person is an arse: he’s still an arse that’s (occasionally) making you feel desirable

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